Even with an intent for health in all things, there can be difficult encounters. Let me tell you about a couple of events from the last few days. What surprised me about each of them was my inability to respond, even though I knew I wanted to and needed to respond.
First, there was my avoidance of a major task – moving my studio to the main floor of the house – where it needs to be. Why would I avoid making changes to accommodate the work that I love to do? Then, I met with a friend and expected to have a bodywork treatment. Instead of getting what I expected, my friend gushed forth for most of an hour with her own issues. I was silenced by her story and her obvious need for support. I left the meeting feeling resentful.
In each of these situations, it felt like there was a vise tightening onto my mind. No solutions presented themselves.
I am generally known as a resourceful person but here is the thing: while I am quite capable of offering help to others, when it comes to my own needs and desires, I fall apart. I put myself in the back seat. How’s that for an insight?
Yesterday, I had my second HeartMath session on the phone with Sheva. HeartMath is a system that offers tools and assistance for building heart intelligence, reducing stress, increasing mind/body coherence. We began to talk about dealing with difficulty – feeling unsettled – and I offered my studio situation as an example of a block that I am facing.
Heart intelligence, my own insights given from a place of coherence, offered a way to ease the block and move forward. I realized that the office (my future studio) is still a chaotic place that makes me feel unsettled. I identify the records, resources and comfy layer of dust with my past, not my future.
Sheva explained that approaching a problem with heart intelligence helps to access more of the brain. Instead of moving automatically to a place of fear, in this case avoidance, I learned to be open to possibility for a creative solution that would support my needs.
My plan shifted from a doing focus to a being focus. Instead of “planning to buy book storage”, I understood that actually getting a big bookcase is a priority that will help to organize the whole space. Continuing to plan is actually part of the problem! Rather than thinking about the studio from another room, I now know that I need to be in the studio and to be creative about space from this perspective. These may seem like small shifts but they help a lot.
Today I am enjoying small shifts in awareness that support and empower my own being. I can enhance my ability to help others by learning to appreciate and make space for myself.